When my son was in Kindergarten, he began to experience pretty significant separation anxiety. He was getting invited to lots of class birthday parties. He was thrilled when he got his invitations. The excitement would mount throughout the week, right up until I was dropping him off. Then total panic kicked in.
His little heart would pound and he would have a death grip on my thigh, terrified to be left alone at the party. It would take a lot of comforting and cajoling to help him finally move towards the other kids. Sometimes, this went on for over 30 minutes. My heart broke for him because something that was supposed to bring total joy was overshadowed by his incredible fear.
As I retold this story over the weekend, my heart hurt. When I went to work on Monday and opened my DayTimer (I know some of you are saying, “what’s a DayTimer”? This was before iCal and GoogleCal), there was a sticky note that I had been lugging around for several years with the words Emotional Freedom Technique scribbled on it. I decided to check this out in the hopes it might help him.
At that time, there were very few clinicians in New England who could offer this. Somehow, I felt called to pursue this so I drove over two hours to the first appointment to check this out.
I explained our story and to my amazement the entire session was focused on my anxiety about my son’s fears and all my emotional baggage that got triggered by his behavior. I had a challenging childhood and I was so afraid that he wouldn’t be happy or the kids would stop inviting him, that my emotions were running on high.
It was the beginning of really understanding how much our children are like giant mirrors. We don’t always like what is being reflected back and often we respond in ways that we feel ashamed. One day, several years ago, I remember yelling at my son to stop yelling.
At the time, I remembered feeling very justified by this craziness. I woke up to our connections and a deeper knowing of what he needed from me as his mom. Now, when I find myself inclined to “lose it”, I take a breath, sometimes even smile, and choose to behave in the way I want to model for him. Not always easy with a teenage boy, that’s for sure.
There is another way our children show us who we are, all the parts, even the uncomfortable ones - reflecting back to us what is going on energetically. I’m sure that you have all had that experience when you are around someone who seems totally peaceful. You wonder, does anything rattle this person? They exude such calm and just being around them makes you feel calmer.
Then, there is that person whose energy is so negative, foul and toxic that you can’t wait to get out of their space to escape how they make you feel. Those are both examples of the effect of energy. Trust me. It’s powerful. That is why one of the best things that we can do for our children is to purge ourselves of all that energetic and emotional baggage that we have accumulated through our lifetime. Because whether we want to believe it or not, our kiddos, have giant antennae and they are definitely dialing into our energy.
I love working with children. They are so responsive to energy healing because they are open and far less cluttered than us. I equally love working with parents, who feel the shift happen inside of them. This allows them to be calmer, more effective, empathic parents once they heal and let go of all that emotional baggage we amass over our lifetime. Even if you’ve had a relatively happy and healthy life until now, there are always things we can clear to achieve our best selves, which always, always, always, translates to being better parents. And it’s never too late for that!
If you are interested in learning more, I’d love to connect in a complementary introductory “discovery” call or if you are ready to take the first steps towards your true healing, book an appointment today.
